Inducing Anxiety

Sometimes I wonder about the way things work with Gertrud. Yes, she is legitimately sick and has lots of appointments to go to. I got another call today, while I was unpacking groceries, cooking and trying to put new bags into the trash bins. I was really busy and Gertrude was telling me about a call that she got, which incidentally was about an appointment that had been on our calender for over a month already. I tried to explain this and she couldn't understand what I was saying at all. She was convinced that it was a new appointment. I started to wonder about dementia right abut then  and so I kept having to repeat myself in different ways until she finally got it, to which she wanted to know if I would go with her. I told her to wait 'till the time got nearer as the appointment was not until December, but explained  that there wasn't much I could help her with since it was only an x-ray and Heinz would be there to help her anyhow. She replied very indignantly that she knew by now that I didn't have any time for her. So of course I got into explaining how I had planned to visit today but got caught up in things, however I would try to come by tomorrow.
The guilt trip however sent blood curdling in my veins and I thought my head would pop right off. By then I was so frustrated from the virtual juggling act I was performing, that when I finally got off the phone I went into a full blown anxiety attack. So much so that I actually had to change out of my jeans and put on pyjamas. I was tearing my clothes off like a mad woman feeling like I was drowning because I couldn't breathe until I finally got on my pj's, eyes bulging, I'm sure, and telling myself that I needed to stop everything for a few minutes. So I turned off the pots on the stove and stood on the balcony breathing in some fresh air, wishing I could have a swig of something strong, all the whilst telling myself that my parents will be the death of me yet. The old buggers will outlive me for sure and dance on my grave if by chance they don't have an appointment that day.