Quitting Time???

Had a visit with Gertrud and Heinz today. Went to show them photos of distant relatives which I had downloaded onto my computer. My visit went relatively fine for about half an hour and all the way down hill after that. By the time I left I was totally upset and it ruined the rest of my day. I am considering quitting the blog since it isn't doing much for me. I tried to put Heinz and Gertude's troubles in a comical light, but there are days, when it only takes a toll on me. I often have difficulty to recall visits without upsetting myself all over again and this is no good for me. So for now I may just take a break while I decide whether to continue with my stories about Heinz and Gertrud's adventures.

Smelly Feet and Sunshades

Gertrud phoned today to let me know I needn't feel bad. It wasn't her turn for a doctor's appointment, but rather Heinz' turn. He needed to go for a stress test to check his heart and so he needed to go on a treadmill.
I immediately let Gertrud know to tell Heinz to bring a pair of running shoes with him for the treadmill. Right away that was a problem. No way did he want to bring his running shoes. He said they made his feet smell. He was going barefoot.
I cringed, then told Gertrud to let him know that they would not allow him on a treadmill barefoot for safety concerns and that he would have to wear his running shoes for once. If only for the fifteen minute test. He could then change back into what ever shoes he preferred. I wonder, do all old people come up with ideas such as his? Barefoot on a treadmill. Who ever heard of that? Besides, doesn't he understand how much it could hurt if he fell down? Well, I told Gertrud that the trip would be wasted if he didn't bring the appropriate shoes and told her to make sure he would bring them.
So I haven't spoken to them since this morning and I don't know how the test went, but I can only imagine the conversation between the nurse applying the test and asking him to put on running shoes and him being reluctant and trying to get out of it. I am glad I wasn't present for that. I will however ask them how things went tomorrow.
I went to the mall today and found a great sun/rain top for Gertrud's scooter. It was $267 or so. I think it would be a great thing for her to have on those sweltering, hot summer days when she absolutely needs to check the mail or see the doctor. Maybe I can save up for it and get it for her in late spring if I see that she is really starting to use the scooter a lot.
It sure would look so cute. It is a nice, dark green shade with a valance on it. She would be the only one in town to have it and be a "mobility scooter trendsetter" for her elderly friends. Whoo hoo! She always did like to be sylish and noticed.

Guilt Parties

Once again my day with Gertrud starts on the phone.
Our call goes somewhat like this. She calls and asks if I am doing anything tomorrow. I think about it and answer that yes, I do have plans for the following day. I get a moment of silence and then she gets to the point. "I have a CAT scan tomorrow you know. I thought you could go with me."
I answer with, " Well, I can't be there, but don't worry about that. It's basically just a fancy x-ray and not going to hurt so there is nothing I can do to help anyhow. Papa will take you and you will be fine." She answers annoyed," Well, what if they decide to do more and it might hurt?"
Again I try to pursuade her that she will be fine and there is nothing to worry about. Now she gets really ticked off at me.
" Well, where are you anyways? There is a lot of noise in the background. I can hear it."
(I am at a coffee shop sipping away at a coffee. She suspects this and wants it confirmed since she hates it that she isn't also there. I don't want her to feel bad so I don't tell her where I am.)
But, now I am totally ticked, so I answer," Not at home," and I try to change the subject." It's a beautiful day out. Have you tried out your scooter today or do you plan to?"
She uses her most pitiful and annoyed voice: " No! I feel way too bad." ( It's her way of trying to guilt me.)
Now I am too upset to answer without a tone of sarcasm, though truthfully," Me too. I don't feel great either."
"Well you have a nice day then." she says in her most sarcastic tone.
"Yes, you too." I answer in my sweetest voice. I seethe for about half an hour and decide not to let it ruin the rest of my day. I do have a right to have a life too.

Scooter Adventures Begin

I was on my way out of town today, when I spotted Heinz in his yard waving his arms and Gertrud on her scooter. I was still a distance away, but I started running trying to catch up to Gertrud heading for the store. She hadn't seen me and put on the gas. Well, I just ran for it. Just huffing and puffing in my new purple coat, I must have looked pretty funny running down the sidewalk calling," Mamma, Mammaaa." I was waving my arm and calling trying to get her attention, but it was futile. She was going so fast and then I saw her tilt. Ahh, my imagination was running wild. I could just imagine her tipping, when she caught herself again and righted the scooter. I kept running even harder now trying to catch up enough so she could hear me as I tried calling her again. Then she tipped partially again stopped righted herself once more as she just kept going. I just held my breath every time the scooter tipped. I was envisioning the scooter tipped on top of her. Me calling the ambulance and her with at least a broken hip. I was terrified. Just how fast could a scooter go, that I could not catch up to her? At last she stopped and turned her head. Finally she had heard me call out to her. I walked up to her and she was quite happy and surprised to see me. I was also soo relieved that she was not hurt. I checked the speed adjustment of her scooter and found it was set at half level, which meant it would go about 8 or 9 kms per hour and since she had a head start, I had found it difficult to catch up. It was her very first outing and so she was nervous trying it out. I asked her if she hadn't noticed that she was tipping at times. "Yes, but I thought it was just me feeling dizzy," she answered. I just sighed, then informed her that I had seen the scooter tip twice. So I turned the speed down to about a quarter speed and showed her that she needed to steer gently or she might tip over. It had been her jerking movements which had almost caused her to fall over. It was then, that I decided to give this new scooter of hers the once over. I had not seen it before nor seen her on it. I noticed that Heinz had worked his magic and removed the head rest and that one of the arm rests was off kilter. I also noticed that her feet didn't even touch the scooter floor. She was way too small for this scooter. It was meant for big, heavy or very tall people and Gertrud is none of these. At less than 5 feet tall and less than 115 lbs she is quite small and the scooter is a monster for her. She is likely to lose conrol over it if she is not careful while she gets used to it. So I walked a little way with her to make sure she would be o.k. and then said my good bye's since I was leaving to go home when I had seen her. I worried about her until I got home and had a chance to call to see if she had made it home without incident, upon which I spoke with Heinz to tell him to lower her seat and fix her armrest and put her head rest back onto the scooter. I never thought watching her ride a mobility scooter could be such a terrifying experience! Ugh.

Dirt and Meds

Heinz and Gertrud had a quiet day today. Heinz was vigorously hauling soil from place to place within the garden. I don't understand the reason behind this madness and don't think I have the heart to ask. I don't think I want to know. Gertrud finally scored in by me checking on her medication. I made a trip to her pharmacist to ask about the medication she was given a few days ago. Turns out it was diabetes medication and she was supposed to take one with food every day until she gets them put in with the rest of her blister packs. Hopefully her diabetes will be under better control soon.
Christmas is coming and with it the lure of chocolate and low resistance.

Chicken Upheaval

Today I was the one who called Heinz and Gertrud. I wanted to tell them about chicken on sale at their local grocer. I called after eleven in the morning and Gertrud answered the phone. I asked to speak to Heinz about where to get the cheap chicken to which Gertrud replied that she was worried about Heinz. He had not gotten out of bed yet, though he is usually up quite early. So she had put on the news, in an effort to rouse him out of bed, but he didn't come down the stairs yet. She was pretty worried. News is one of Heinz' big things in life. He lives and breathes it. So when he didn't respond to the sound of the news coming from the living room, Gertrud thought something must be wrong with Heinz.
It hadn't occured to her to just listen at his bedroom door for his snoring, which he does quite loudly I might add and has led to separate bedrooms, or to gently knock on his door to see if he was o.k.
I told her to go to his room and check on him, to which she got quite panic strucken and asked me not to hang up while she checked on him. I was just a little amused at her though I was a curious why Heinz would still be in bed at such a late hour. So into his room she went, while I could hear her footsteps on the phone. The next thing I hear is: "Heinz, get up! Bine is on the phone. She says you have to go get chicken!"
I almost fainted. Poor Heinz was being roused out of bed in such a wild way. I was worried he might get a heart attack. She certainly hadn't approached him gently, like I had envisioned and with that she thrust the phone into his hands and I had a confused Heinz on the line. " Ahh what is this about chicken?" he replied all puzzled sounding trying to wake up.
So I explained that the local grocer had whole chicken on sale for $2.18 a kg and that they were nice looking chickens of which I had bought 2 the previous day and cooked one up to find they were delicously tender. The sale ended tomorrow and if he wanted some, he would need to get to the store today sometime. With that the conversation was mostly done and I went by in the early afternoon just to pick up a check for part of Gertud's mobility scooter.
I arrived just in time to see Heinz top the hill on his bicycle. I called out to him before he would take off and I wouldn't get a chance to say hello to him. I asked him where he was off to, to which he replied that he was going to the mail and picking up the chicken at the same time. "But Papa," I said," The chicken is in the other direction."
He was heading to the wrong end of town for the chicken thinking the sale was at another grocery store. I was glad that I had caught him in time to save him the confusion at the store. He was happy I had cleared up the confusion and jumped onto his bike, rucksack on his bike, peddling with the vigor of a 20 year old. I just watched him in amazement, hoping that I might be blessed with such energy at his age some day.
Later in the day I called back to see if Heinz's chicken mission had been accomplished without further incident and Gertrud happily explained that yes, Heinz had returned home with three chickens and had proudly shown them to her. Three chickens for under four dollars each. What a feat!

Medical Confusion

I am trying to be helpful to Gertrud and Heinz with their medical issues. However, I get phone calls from them telling me about different people they go to see. The problem comes in that they never remember who is who. They think nurses are doctors, dieticians are nurses, receptionists are nurses, doctors are called,"the girl with the blond hair at the doctor's office," or, "that nice nurse that I saw the other day." Everyone is a nurse or doctor or vice-versa. They don't remember names, which creates real chaos when they need to go to appointments. They don't know who they are seeing or why most of the time. Unless I put it on my own calender, call them before hand several times and then possibly go with them, they manage to get into trouble. They either go to the wrong person or see the right person, but don't know why they are there. Today's example was Heinz' appointment with the heart specialist. He went there, but didn't know exactly the reason he was sent or what type of doctor it was, so he told her all about his prostate problem with the expectation of an exam. Well, I wasn't there, so I can't tell, what the doctor thought about all this, but I'm sure the doctor must have been as confused by him as he was by her. However, he did get another appointment for a full stress test, which I explained was a test to check his heart and that he needed to bring running shoes. I feared that he might show up in his big work boots, or if snow arrives, some big ol' snow boots. So for now I just try to keep track of their appointments as best I can and make the necessary phone calls because another problem is that they generally don't understand the medical terminology. They often come out of appointments more confused as when they went in. This is why it's necessary to accompany if at all possible. It's horrible to think that this will be yourself one day. Old, confused and in need of help at almost every corner. Ever notice how many eldery people are accompanied to their appointments? This is why. If you want your parents or grand parents to stay healthy and if you want to know what their health status really is, you need to take the time out and go around with them. As uncomfortable as it might get, to take one's gramma to the gynocologist perhaps, or to take your dad to the urologist and listen to the doctor describe their ailments, it's a necessary evil to do it. As I have learned, one can do more than one could ever have imagined when it comes to your loved ones.

Courage and Weather

Well, let the scooter games begin. We now need perfect weather and courage to get out on the scooter. So I don't know when the world will be just perfect in order to try it out. There are all kinds of problems associated with scooters once you get them home you know. One thing is keeping the dust off them. One must find just the right blanket to keep it from becoming a moving dust ball in the basement. Also one must find just the right wooden boards to place on the step to get it outdoors. Then there is the matter of turning the key off the moment one doesn't use it. So we don't stop and converse at length to a neighbor perhaps without shutting it off.
We must also consider the outdoor temperature since the batteries will wear down much faster the colder the weather is, and that lo and behold might lead to having to charge the battery sooner than later, which we all know costs electricity and a bill. So you see Heinz and Gertrud now have all sorts of problems, and she hasn't even tried it out yet. Now those are just the surface problems.
The real problems come in when one must actually drive it. We need to learn how to cross a road without getting run over. (It is soo much different from actually walking.) Then we need to learn how to get onto the curb, even if it is made for wheelchairs. Well, and then there are the flashers...Does anyone even use them? I truly have never seen anyone use them before. Besides, how can one drive a beautiful new scooter without getting it dirty on perhaps not quite dry sidewalks.
Also the matter of leaving it outdoors when going inside a store comes up. One can't trust leaving it there for it will undoubtably be stolen. Key or no key, it will be stolen for sure. Of course we will leave it within view whenever possible, but all those obstacles to overcome make it almost impossible to even try it out. Well, I guess Gertrud will have to wait until I come over to give her the courage to overcome all her problems once again. Ugh. When will the stars be aligned just right for all this to occur?

The Wait

The phone. I am beginning to hate it at times. As much as it can be helpful, it can also be annoying. When it rings several times in the morning I get annoyed. I am a person who needs to get her 10 hours of sleep at night and wake up slowly. I really can't wrap my head around anything until lunch. So today Gertrud called me twice before 11am. I realize that she was excited about her new scooter arriving, but I just wasn't feeling well and it was looking like rain. My visit to her house will have to wait until I feel better. I hope she gets to try it out soon and that the sidewalks stay dry for a few more weeks so that she can get out on it and get used to riding it. Today though she said that she needed to work up the courage to try it out. I had the feeling that she wanted me to come by so that I would go out with her giving it a try. Well, by the time I could have visited it was pouring outside anyhow, so now she will just have to look at it longingly and lovingly until the rain stops......Hopefully not till next spring.

Scooter Indecisions

Things seemed too quiet today. I had no phone calls this morning from Gertrud or Heinz and by early afternoon I decided to check on them, only to find that they had gone out. Now let me explain, that it is a rare occasion that Heinz and Gertrud go away without first calling me and telling me what they are up to. So not having said anything raised my worry meter right away. Nothing good can come of them having gone off without a word. So I tried to guess what they might be up to. Well, I decided, they could simply have decided to go shopping, but that made no sense since I took them yesterday and Heinz and Gertrud said they had everything at home that they needed for a long time. So they had only taken advantage of some of the sales items, like 10 lbs of onions for a buck ninety-nine. The only thing that came to mind was that they might have gone back to the scooter shop to look at the scooters again, since Heinz had a look in his eye which I couldn't forget, when he noticed the big scooter, meant for people weighing up to 400 lbs and can go up to 12 kms per hour and drive for up to 60 kms distance on one charge. It was of course about 700 Dollars more expensive than the one they had chosen to buy, but otherwise looked the same, except that it was made two and a half inches wider to accommodate a larger person.the scooter she had bought carried up to 300 lbs , went 10 kms per hour and  30 kilometers per battery charge.
Now Gertrud is maybe a whopping 115 lbs. The occupational therapist had recommended a mid-sized scooter due to Gertrud's small frame, but Heinz ever being a mechanic decided later that perhaps they had made a mistake with the scooter and needed to get the biggest, more sturdy model.
Going home we had discussed the huge model somewhat and I had stressed that Gertrud would likely have trouble negotiating such a big scooter and that it really wasn't meant for people her small size. I did however notice that Heinz' wheels were still turning, so it was no surprise when I got a phone call around 2 pm from the mobility store telling me that they were there and that they had decided to purchase the bigger scooter. Heinz wanted to know if I wanted to pay the balance with my credit card to accumulate more reward points, which is why the store had called and asked for my credit card number and expiry date. The lady also asked if I thought it was alright that they were switching scooters, but I told her that the decision was entirely theirs and if it made them happy and they thought it was right, then that was what counted. She wanted to know if I wanted to speak to Heinz, but I knew it was useless to try and pursuade him otherwise, so I just gave my credit card information and hung up.
It was late after supper time before Heinz and Gertrud called me. They had decided to go further into London looking for an auto parts place and had become hopelessly lost. "Your father got lost four times in London!" Gertrud exclaimed on the phone," I'll never go to London alone with him again!" "Well, on the way home, "Heinz explained," we ended up in Lucan. I didn't turn at the gas station where the sign points to Stratford." So that explained their late arrival home. I was just glad they made it back safely and once again reaffirmed that they can get into trouble no matter what they do. Gertrud also explained that when she first tried out the scooter it shot forward several times on her, but that she rode around the mall until she finally got the hang of how to pull the lever more smoothly which in turn made the scooter ride smoothly too. She seemed pleased with her purchase and sounded excited that it will be delivered tomorrow. I will be thrilled to see her independent again and terrorizing the town on her new scooter. Look out people, new driver on the sidewalks!!

Raising Prostate Cancer Awareness

Hi Everyone.
My army son is taking initiative to grow a moustache for Movember and raise prostate cancer awareness. Check out his site: http://ca.movember.com/mospace/2622904/index/dp/1

Ride em' High

So the big day got shifted from Monday to today, since Gertrud got all excited about buying a mobility scooter and kept calling me about the details of the ones I had scouted out for her yesterday. Having gone through all the details with her and Heinz several times on the phone and then her calling me again first thing this morning, I knew the weekend would be full of questions and further calls unless I got her down to London to see the scooters for herself and probably buy one.
So off we went early in the afternoon. I've never seen Heinz drive so fast either. By that I mean, he was actually driving the speed limit which was a great change from his usual 10 to 20 km's below the speed limit with tons of traffic piling up behind us. Along the way Heinz was in a real happy mood, full of jokes about how Gertrud would terrorize the streets with her new scooter and possibly be having races with other people on their scooters. Gertrud sat in the car, ball cap on her head looking a little nervous now that the day had actually arrived and was asking lots of questions as to how I would choose were it me who had to buy the scooter. I kept telling her that she needed to try them out for herself and then make a joint decision with Heinz.
Gertrud got really excited when she first saw the scooters at a distance. "I see them," she said. "Which one is mine?" I had to laugh. She was so timid once she approached them. The sales lady explained everthing about the mobility scooters in detail to both Heinz and Gertrud and offered them to try out the scooters they might be interested in. Since we had already narrowed down the choice to two scooters before we arrived, it made things slightly easier to compare. Gertrud rode both scooters in the mall hallways while I walked beside her, for encouragement and to help in case she got into trouble. She needed to ride them both twice before a decision was to be made. Heinz, always being the mechanic checked the scooters over for mechanical advantages and disadvantages. Finding a pinch point on one and checking for good clearance underneath should Gertrud need to take her scooter across some grass at different times. Several times he was on his belly checking the mechanics as much as he could and also checking for safety features.
At one point he had pulled a lever which made the scooter beep loudly every time it was turned on, which brought the sales lady running. Of course the trick was to figure out why the thing was now beeping every time the key was turned. Then he had the grand idea to take it home straight away. How he would accomplish this was the next question to be answered. At first he thought if the seat could be taken off he and I could lift it onto the roof racks of his little Volkswagon. I kept telling him that it was a terrible idea, since it could fall off and that it was too heavy to lift. Of course he needed to check the weight for himself and so he went to the back of the machine and lifted it by the bumper, to which he replied," Oh, oh, oh, I didn't think it would be this heavy! I really didn't think so." At first I got worried that he might have injured himself and got another hernia, but instead his brain took quickly to finding another solution.
We would drive all the way back home and pick up his truck. Then we could put it on the back of the truck and bring it home. Heinz was not to be convinced that it would be delivered for less than fifty dollars. I told Heinz that this would not solve the problem since the scooter still needed to be lifted on and off the truck and the gas money wouldn't be free either. I told him I could get the store to deliver it for about twenty-five dollars which would ensure the scooter's safe arrival and spare us a lot of trouble. (Never mind my bad back which was already in bad shape.) Gertrud at this point didn't care which scooter she got to take home because she liked both models and left the final decision to Heinz since she trusted him to know which one was mechanically the better buy.
Her main concern now was to get a nice basket for the back of the scooter in which she could carry her groceries etc. So she left Heinz and myself to discuss the merits of both vehicles while she took the sales woman aside to discuss finding a suitable strong metal basket. To her luck the lady brought out just the right thing and showed her how easily it attached to the scooter which immediately sold Gertrude on the bigger, but less expensive scooter. However before the final decision was passed, Gertrud and Heinz changed their mind several more times. Then, just as the scooter was being paid for Heinz spoke up quickly and told the sales woman to add in the basket for Gertrud too.
Gertrud was in her glory! New scooter and two baskets, one for up front and one at the back. Life didn't get much better than this.
As for me, I was tickled pink that Heinz and Gertrud let me pay with my credit card temporarily so as to get my reward points toward flights. Once again everyone left happy and delivery will be Monday or Tuesday. I'm sure Gertrud will be sitting on pins and needles until it arrives.

Sneak and Peek

.Heinz and Gertrud can sometimes be a little much for me and there are times when I desperately need a bit of time to myself, so I then I usually hide out at one of the coffee shops around town. All I want is to have a quiet coffee without interruption for a just little while, to recharge my batteries. Gertrud however knows that there are times I hide out from her and so she keeps a sharp eye out for me.
One day I was hiding out in a far corner of a coffee shop as I saw her going by with her walker. I could see her looking into the window very intently as I squirmed in my seat not to be seen, when she hit a bump.
The walker hit the mud where a tree had been planted and so dipped into the earth as Gertrud tried desperately to regain control over the situation. I and some ladies sitting by the window saw her tip over the front of the walker virtually mooning us. The elderly ladies by the window kept getting up and sitting down, as they were trying to decide whether Gertude was going to need outside intervention or go totally over the front of her walker. All I could think of was that Gertrud momentarily reminded me of the ducks on the lake when they are bum up looking for food under water.
I could hear the ladies sitting by the window gasping with fear, saying stuff like,"Oh, she tripped! Look, do you think she is o.k. or does she need help to get back up?" All the while I was thinking the same thing, but also stuff like," Wow, there goes my MOM, I really need to run and pick her up, but then I'll give up my sacred quiet spot. Why? Why isn't someone coming along to help her regain control. Oh, gosh I need to go help her, after all she's my mom for heaven's sake! Just move and go get her! Stop her from mooning everyone in the coffee shop, someone pleeease! But why isn't someone coming along, so I don't need to give up my favorite hiding spot. Why wasn't she watching where she was going in the first place? Why does she need to be snooping to catch me enjoying my coffee?"
Then, just as I jumped up to run out, she regained control of her balance and was right side up once again, adjusting her baseball hat, eyes bulging out a bit from the scare and looking around to see if anyone had noticed her.
The ladies in the coffee shop let out a relieved sigh," She's o.k. She got up again!" they chimed almost simultaneously and then continued with their lunch, while I also gave a sigh of relief and sat back down to my coffee, but all the whilst kept a close eye on Gertrude.
She finally gave up on trying to see into the window of the coffee shop. More worried about embarrassment, she quickly straightened out her coat and pushed her walker down the road. Thank heavens the whole incident only lasted a few seconds and turned out fine but I, on the other hand sat in the coffee shop drinking the rest of my coffee not sure of whether I was just plain evil or if she deserved that little trip for trying to spy on me. I was of course happy she was unhurt but felt guilty at the same time for not running to save her immediately. My coffee just didn't taste the same, but now do grin at the memory of her mooning everyone in the shop. So, I am forced to face the fact that yes, I am just a little bit evil. Hahahaha......

Spills and Falls

Poor Gertrud had to go for another blood test today. She was all dressed up nicely with her suit jacket and nice little hat. She had her can in one hand and a coffee in the other when she needed to step up the curb. In the process, she got dizzy and fell on the grass. Poor Gertrud spilled her coffee and got her clothes all covered in leaves. Thankfully she didn't get hurt and break something, since at her age that could be detrimental to her well being. Heinz was walking right behind her and didn't have a chance to catch her, but some young gentleman saw her fall and came running to help her get up. So between Heinz and this stranger, they got her back to her feet and she got to her appointment. She called me after she got home to ask me why she keeps falling. Well, I told her I didn't know why, but that between all her illnesses and her medications she has fallen for the 3rd time already this year and that it's always when she goes without her walker and that she shouldn't go without it anywhere anymore. Furthermore I added that she should probably go to buy that mobility scooter now for longer trips she likes to make to the grocery store and to the coffee shop. She is too weak to carry anything home and often places too much in her walker basket and then tries to push the heavy load all the way back home. I told her the electric scooter would give her more freedom and mobility. So we agreed to go to London on Monday and check on a scooter for her, before she ends up breaking a hip or something. Until then she needs to take it easy and probably not go anywhere without supervision and her walker. It's hard to watch her mobility deteriorate and it reminds me that someday everyone is in the same position and so we had better try to stay in good health for as long as possible. Healthy food, excercise and a healthy outlook on life is key to an active longevity and I plan to do my best in that department so that I can stay independent for as long as possible in my old age.

Sick Today

Sorry folks, don't mean to disappoint here, but I am feeling a bit lousy here. Really can't put anything together tonight. So hope you all have a good day tomorrow and hope to blog then again.

Busy Days

Today was a busy day for Heinz and Gertrud. They had a doctor's appointment first thing this morning. They needed to show up for 11 am and recieved a call from the office to see if they could come in an hour early since there were a few cancellations. They decided to get it over with early so they rushed to get to the office huffing and puffing. They got to reception and checked in only to find out they were an hour early because they had forgotten to set their clocks back to daylight savings. Well, poor Heinz was chastised about his cholesterol levels and diabetes levels and then given a pneumonia shot in the arm. His arm hurt all day. When he called me in the evening, he said that he was no wimp, but his arm was so sore he couldn't even touch his nose. I did tell him that I had felt the same way when I had been given my pneumonia shot but the consolation being that you only get it every five years as far as I remembered.
Then he told me they had to take a trip to the next nearest town, where Gertrud had seen a mobility scooter for sale and was in a rush to get her hands on it. It was a steal of a deal at 800 Dollars and she wanted to get a better look at it, since the store had been closed on Saturday and she could only see it in the window. So today she wanted to inquire about it further.
Turned out that it was well used and tires worn among other things Heinz found lacking on it. The salesman apparantly was very talkative and had Gertrud riding it around in the parking lot until she was quite comfortable on it and was sold on it. Gertrud wanted to take it home regardless of its condition, but Heinz remembered that I had told him of a place in London that sells beautiful, strong mobility scooters at a very reasonable price. So he barely stopped Gertrud from buying the used one and since they had become quite hungry by then, consoled her with a chicken dinner from the grocery store eaten in the car. One thing about Heinz is that he is not comfortable in restaurants and rarely goes into one because he is so unsure of how to even place the order. So now to solve the scooter problem, I have a date to go to London with them on Monday to see about the new scooters. I am sure Gertrud will love the new scooters and want one. In any case it should be nice to take them out. Heinz is unsure of going to London on his own because he doesn't know his way around and so I am the tour guide for now. I fully intend on surprising them by taking them hostage and treating them to my favorite portuguese restaurant for lunch while I am there.

Mattress Mysteries

Upon deciding to move back to Ontario, Heinz threw out his old mattress to make room on the moving truck. The trouble with that was only that he had put it into his head that he didn't need another mattress. I tried to convince him to get a new one right after he arrived, but I got all the usual excuses and also some more of the unusual ones. At first he started with," I'm fine, I got some blankets under me on the bedroom floor. When we were children all we had were straw mats." Then it went," I found some old sofa cushions and put them on the floor and they are much softer. I don't need a mattress. This is quite comfortable." The cushions however kept slipping apart and were quite narrow, so he either fell off or they would slip apart and he would end up on the floor anyhow. After that he finally erected the antique bed my sister had given him a long time ago. Instead of using a boxspring and mattress in it he cut some of his home made boards to size and thereby made his base on the bed. Then he proceeded to make a makeshift mattress. It consisted of many layers. First a layer of cardboard on top of the boards, then a 4 inch sponge, then many layers of comforters, one moving blanket and last but certainly not least  a down duvet. All together it was about 10 layers which amounted to a big hole in the middle of the bed and the rest of the blankets sort of bunched up around the edges.
Well, like I said, I had tried to no avail many times before to convince him to buy a mattress. The only thing he was at one point willing to do though was to try and find a used mattress. This I was not willing to help him find though, since I was thoroughly disgusted by even the thought of a used mattress. Especially with the scare of bedbugs in many towns and hotels thoughout the country.
So when I saw his bed a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I could look for a mattress sale if he wanted me to. By now he had crept into Gertrud's bed in the mornings for his regular talk routine. In the mornings when he wakes up, he visits Gertrud in her room and lays down beside her and tells her what is on his mind at the time. She by the way, always complains about him waking her up like this, although it is part of their regular routine for about the past 10 years or more. So by creeping in with her in the mornings, he surely noticed the comfort of her mattress over time. So after sleeping terribly for almost a year and me asking him one more time if he was ready to buy a mattress soon, Heinz finally agreed to a new mattress and asked me to keep an eye out for a suitable one.
Today was his lucky day. They had a great sale on memory foam mattresses at one of the big box stores I like to frequent and I grabbed one immediately. They only had one more twin size in stock and I wasn't about to let the opportunity pass. So this mattress comes packed in a big box with wheels on the bottom and a handle on top so you can just pull it behind you.
When I arrived, Heinz was confused. He had never seen a mattress packaged this way and was intrigued by the packaging, which I had to explain as soon as I entered the door. It took him a few tries. He was convinced that the box must be on a dolly as he had seen me push it down his front stairs. After explaining the packaging, he was confused as to how a mattress could fit into such a box. I tried to explain the process of vacuum packaging for mattresses, but he looked quite unconvinced until we had totally taken it out of the box. I told him we would need a pair of scissors and a knife to unwrap it and he brought a very big butcher knife and scissors for the job. I got nervous upon seeing the butcher knife as I thought he might get excited and accidentally cut into the mattress or its cover. His knife wielding is something to behold I might add. First he adjusted the cardboard in the bottom of the bed. He cut it more to measure which was fine, and then he started going for the plastic, upon which I had to hold him back several times, since the mattress needed to sit in place properly before you cut away the plastic, because as soon as you puncture it the mattress will inflate to its proper 8 inch thickness. At first we had it upside down in the bed, but it was luckily not inflated yet and was only about an inch and a half thick and rather easily moved. Once in place, I told the butcher knife wielding Heinz to go ahead and cut the plastic off the mattress. He was quite excited and almost cut into the mattress cover at one point, but then slowed down when I explained my fear of cutting the mattress. Within minutes the mattress had almost reached 8 inches and looked nice on his bed. Heinz was very impressed with the whole process and liked the washable, zippered cover the mattress comes with. I helped him to put a mattress cover and sheets on and I saw a happy man. He was laughing and making jokes about the box and telling me he might even find a use for the great plastic which came off the mattress. We went downstairs and he paid me for the mattress and thanked me for my help. I told him I was only too happy to help him and hoped he would finally get some decent sleep. Heinz has terrible sleep issues and his bed must not have helped in resolving this problem for him. So all I can think about tonight is that one old man now has a decent bed and hopefully gets a good night's sleep for a change. Good night Heinz and have sweet dreams for a change.

Blind Leading the Blind

Today was a very busy day at Heinz and Gertrud's place. I spent quite a bit of time there. Heinz was all dressed and was heading to the grocery store when I arrived. Knapsack on his back he was taking his bicycle and was going for the sale on beets. Ten pounds for three dollars and ninety-nine cents. He was going to stock up with enough beets to last him until Christmas. So before he left I called him back to give me the tools to install the blinds I had bought. Drill, screwdriver, extension cord was all I needed. Unawares that the blinds come with all hardware included, Heinz also brought a five gallon pail upstairs with all different sized screws I might need. So as soon as he left thereafter, I showed Gertrud the sitzbath that I had brought for her and went through the instructions with Gertrude and then later with both Gertrude and Heinz again, since Heinz wanted to be assured he knew all there was to know on how to operate one in case Gertrude might forget and he wanted to make sure it would work for her. Once explained he was quite impressed to my surprise.

Well, like I mentioned earlier, Heinz had headed out to the grocery store which is located down quite a steep hill from his home. About 15 minutes after he left, he came back home huffing and puffing. He had forgotten his wallet and was hurrying back to retrieve it. At this point I thought he might take his car, since the beets would also be heavy to carry back and Heinz is after all in his late seventies. To my dismay, he hurried off on his bicycle again. I called after him to take his time, since I worried something could happen to him if he tried to hurry too much. Health wise or accident wise..... Well, now having picked up his wallet, he went to the store, while I took down the old bamboo rollup blinds and started to install new mini-blinds. I too was huffing and puffing, since my shoulder wouldn't cooperate at tightening the screws in place. I did pre drill the holes to make it easier, and got the blind at the door installed before Heinz got home, but the other two blinds on the living room windows, I had to be tightened by Heinz since my shoulder and back wouldn't let me finish it.I lost the screwdriver several times during the installation process and Gertrud had to help me find it again although it was right in front of me several times. And it was quite a balancing act on the windowsill and back of the sofa to reach the top of one of the windows. The other window was easier to reach with help of a ladder. Gertrud helped by handing me the hardware as I finished installing the blinds, which once the screws are tightened is quite easy. It was harder than usual to tighten screws in place since his windows are surrounded with hardwood. I figure my body will be quite sore tomorrow.

Like I said, Heinz had gone for the beets, but also picked a big apple pie as a treat for all of us. Having put it in his knapsack on the way home it arrived somewhat injured, which we ignored and so we simply baked it anyway. I didn't want to hurt their feelings by telling them again that I don't like to eat sweets, so I took a piece and I must admit it tasted quite good after all the work. Ahh, but poor Heinz. Once he got home and took off his coat he realized that he had lost his glasses. Figuring he had lost them on the trip home and that they had fallen on the street, he got dressed again to head out and find his glasses. So once again he took his coat and shoes and started heading out, when he suddenly found his glasses. So once again all was well that ended well.

Of Sitzbaths and Slowcookers

Well my day did not go as planned today. After getting up and just having had my first coffee substitute for the day, Heinz rang me up to tell me that Gertrud and he had decided to go to town today. Gertrud was apparantly quite excited to get out of the house for the day as she had been stuck indoors for practically the whole week and was getting cabin fever. Heinz figured they would be gone for an hour or two and that I could still come by to work on the blinds if there was time. However, knowing Heinz and Gertrud as I do, I knew the day was done. Heinz absolutely cannot go anywhere for just an hour. He gets stuck talking to all the clerks and so time passes and the day is done.
He said they would be going for a few groceries and just getting out of the house for the day because the weather was nice and Gertrud would enjoy it.
Now Gertrud has been having some troubles in what I like to refer to as the "nether" regions and so I advised Heinz that there were these things called sitzbaths into which one puts some epsom salts and warm water and then sits into it for roughly fifteen minutes several times a day if one wants to and it provides relief for all sorts of ailments. I went into great detail to explain that they fit onto the toilet and are very handy and even told him the price range to expect and where to go to find one.
So off the two of them went. They did not return home until supper time just as I had expected upon which Heinz called to let me know how things had transpired.
He told me disparingly how he had tried very hard to get a sitzbath for Gertrude all to no avail. They had visited the pharmacy I had recommended and found two things which might fit the description. One was a round plastic frame, which basically made the toilet seat higher and cost about sixty dollars. It didn't look right to Heinz and the price was more than I had said, so that was out. Then the other thing he described was simply a plastic thing which looked like a bowl that fit onto the toilet seat and cost about twelve dollars. Now this, to Heinz was simply outrageous to charge twelve dollars for a piece of plastic though it did seem to fit the bill better. However he wasn't sure if it was the right thing, so he left it there. According to Heinz, the bathwater would get cold way too fast and possibly cause even more problems. Howver he didn't know about the plastic bag that goes with the sitzbath and is to be filled with hot water which can then be gradually added to the bath as it cools off.
So he decided to go across the road to the mobility center which would surely have the electric version that would keep the water warm for a lot longer period of time. The mobility center was closed however and so after scouring several more stores trying to find an electric sitzbath Heinz and Gertrud came home empty handed other than having bought the epsom salts.

So in telling me his shopping story, I told Heinz that he had found the right thing to start with at the pharmacy. Well, he told me that he didn't like the thought of the water cooling down so fast and that he had some good wooden boards in the basement, which, if he were to cut them just right and modify one of the three slowcookers that he and Gertrud owned he could make a wonderful substitute that would work much better than the versions sold in the stores.
Soo, after taking a very deep breath and trying not to picture the outcome too closely, I vehemently advised against doing any such thing. I tried hard to convince him of the virtues of the current version available and that it was indeed worth the twelve dollar investment for the comfort alone. Heinz however is a tough cookie to convince differently when he is on a mission.
Feeling beaten, I finally remembered to tell him that the epsom salts can be used in bathwater just as effectively, however he would have to help Gertrude in and out of the tub, whereas with the sitzbath she would have been able to do things entirely on her own and at her own convenience.
In the end, I had to leave Heinz in his invention mode and hope that I can buy a sitzbath for Gertrude, before she gets either splinters or accidentally electrocuted in a slowcooker.

Still Digging and Sitting in the Dark

When I saw Heinz today he was still digging and pounding around the drive way taking advantage of the good weather we've been having. I got Gertrud a small potted rose for in the house. I know she will enjoy it. I was surprised that they sold them at this time of year actually. It will give her something living to look after too.
Heinz and Gertrud have also never dealt with the bamboo type rollup blinds in their life before. When they bought this new home of theirs last year it came with these rollup blinds in the living room which they have been fighting constantly ever since. First they were all askew every time I got there. I showed them several times how to adjust them but Gertrud just stood there with a blank stare on her face, and Heinz looked sort of puzzled and had all kinds of explanations of how they SHOULD work. The next time I went over, the strings had been cut and rearranged so that Heinz could work them his own way, but now they only go up two thirds of the way and the living room never gets all the light it should and Gertrud sits in a semi-lit room most days since the blinds have been altered.
So to remedy the situation, I took measurements of the living room door and windows a week or so ago and today I found some blinds which I think will do the trick. They are the simple white mini blind type, which I know Heinz and Gertrud know how to work. They've had that type of blind before and so it will be easy for them.
I will try to go over tomorrow and install them myself, so that nothing can go wrong in the installation process. This itself might be a real feat....I know how to install the blinds. It is quite easy, but I'm not sure about all the help I might get which I might make things a whole lot harder than required. I might have to fight off requests to eat cakes or candies and discuss the installation process at length with Heinz. Also there is the thing about finding the tools. This sometimes takes a lot longer than necessary since Heinz' memory generally fails him in that department and insists someone must have come over and stolen them. On second thought, I may just bring my own tools.

Fussy Pharmacists and Funerals

Today when I visited, Heinz was busy working on his drive way. he had put down crushed gravel and was fixing the entrance to his drive, making sure that water would run down the hill instead of his driveway. It was a cool, dark day and I didn't waste much time outside before venturing into the house to see what Gertrude was up to. I came in through the basement entrance and caught her napping in her recliner with a blanket and pillow. It seems that's what she does most days now, and it worries me a bit. She is not moving around enough and I know it's not good for her to simply sit around without much stimulation and exercise. She was happy to have some company and  seemed a bit embarrassed to have been caught napping. I usually tease her in these situations, but knowing she doesn't feel too well these days, I said nothing.
She did however tell me that she had ventured out to the pharmacy with her walker. The pharmacy is a constant source of trouble for her. I sort of feel sorry for the pharmacist. Gertrude is always mystified that she can't get refills on prescriptions before certain dates and that there are little numbers called "refill numbers" which determine whether she gets medication or not. Today she decided that the pharmacist was just a little too fussy about all these things. "Nice girl," she figures, "just takes things a little too precise."
Then out of the blue, she asked me if I had thought about funerals lately. I suspected the question was due to her not feeling strong these days.
I told her that as a matter of fact I had and that I had been looking into it before and decided that I wanted cremation and a nice jar. I told her funerals weren't too important to me since I feel it will only be my body to be taken care of since my soul won't be there anymore. I jokingly, told her that I really didn't care what would happen after I was in my choice of vases....which by the way I was picking up at one of the local department stores. No way would I pay the funeral parlour prices for myself. They run around eight hundred dollars roughly whilst I can get a nice container for less than a hundred. Gertrud was pretty wide eyed at my attitude, but then even wanted to know which department store I thought I could find a suitable container.
I told her that I felt dying is all a part of living. You get born and every day thereafter you get closer to dying. I told Gertrude not to worry about it, since no one knows when their turn is and that my turn could come sooner than hers for all we know, since it has nothing to do with age necessarily.
(Talk about trying to be cheerful and simply factual about funerals!) And oh, yeah, she didn't argue with me that it would be awful if I was to go first either. Hmm.

Guerilla Gardening

Heinz is an avid gardener. He fancies himself a farmer, since he grew up on a small farm and grew up on a farm until the age of fourteen. His next stint at gardening didn't occur until he was well into his fourties and he had moved to a northern community where he had short summers and very cold, long winters. It was impossible to grow fruit trees and many different types of berries and veggies. Many veggies, like tomatoes, that could be grown needed a green house to get started because of late frosts and such a short growing season.
So now Heinz has moved to south western ontario, where he can grow pretty much everything that he could grow in his child hood. It has him fascinated. In his first season he has planted approximately 6 to 8 fruit trees of various sorts. There are apple trees, pear trees, cherry trees, plum trees and I am not sure what else. I know that he still has dreams of growing hazelnut trees and or walnut trees. He is just getting started. His past passion was in regular gardens and he doesn't know too much about fruit trees, so he is constantly looking for information on keeping pests at bay.  Last year his big concern was what the worms did to his large apple tree. The apples were being attacked and he had no idea how to fight back. Eventually with the help of my computer and asking the local gardening store he now has a remedy for the next growing season. He also had a great crop of red wine grapes growing on a trellis. We also resourced how and when to cut them back, but I believe Heinz cut them back too far and too late in the season. The result was that there were absolutely no grapes in site not even a one, but the leaves were thick and wonderful. Had he wanted to make stuffed vineleaves, he could have gone into business for himself. I will have to tell him that vine leaves are wonderful to eat, and so he will have another source of greens when the time comes. I sure hope next year will bring a good yield of grapes for him though. He is absolutely thrilled with the fact that grapes will grow in his yard and has planted many more vines throughout the yard. Ever the avid gardener, he is always looking for more space for his garden and the perfect spot for certain species.
I had a flower bed all planned out for Gertrud last year. I had even planted lots of flowers next to his driveway in an established flowerbed. Thoughout the summer though. One by one things deteriorated in the flowerbeds. The flowerbed beside the front door turned into a spinach bed and the flowerbed beside the driveway got raided for black topsoil. Not much of it is left. When asking Heinz about it, he mentioned that Gertrud is no longer able to take care of the flowers and that they needed the vegetables more. This is true, however Heinz hates flowers as they are useless in his eyes. Just a waste of space and doesn't see the beauty in them. Now Gertrude is another story. She loves flowers and I am determined that she have some.
So the war between flowers and veggies begins. My plan for spring is to find a couple of very large flower pots and fill them with nice flowers for Gertrud and put them on her deck, where she will be able to enjoy them and easily water them as needed. I know she sits out on the deck in the summer and watches Heinz as he putters around the yard and also watches the goings on in the neighborhood. Like I said before, I believe in giving flowers while we are alive and not putting them on graves. It's too late then. So I will put the rest of the family also on notice to make sure Gertrud gets some planters next spring. The war is on! Oh, but I still want some rhubarb.... I told Heinz I would supply the original plant come spring if he could only plant it somewhere in his yard and then he can have rhubarb every year and give me a few sprigs once in a while. I just looove my rhubarb!

The Case of Cheap

Heinz is a saver by heart. Nothing makes him happier than to save a dollar. Even if it costs him two to save one. Now I know that doesn't make sense to most people, but to Heinz it does. Heinz doesn't rent anything. Nothing. And I mean that in the deepest sense of the word. When Heinz wanted to move Gertrud once, he bought a 10,000 Dollar truck to get the job done. He moved her with it, but could have saved himself at least half that money by renting a truck. This time he moved with Gertrud, he used the truck again. You say, "Good job Heinz, you have now paid for the truck and basically got it for free," but you don't know that now he also needed to buy a trailer for another several thousand dollars and then work on it and add more money into it for tires, new sideboards and new electrical. Well you say, "Now he has a trailer too." But then it took him three trips, which cost him approximately $4000 return for each trip. "But now you say he is saving, right?" And so I say," Yeah, now he is saving. He put potatoes in his garden and has a wonderful crop of potatoes, which he labored over lovingly all summer and should get him through the winter pretty much. So he is also saving on his carrots and onions now. Yes, I agree he is getting excercise and fresh air and the veggies are fresh, at least for now. Because by December, I don't necessarily see them as fresh anymore. Now I went to the grocery store and got 10 pounds of onions, carrots and beets for $2.99. The potatoes were $1.99 last week. So I wonder at the savings and all the work. Was it really worth it???
So now what about the water bill you ask. Does he save on water too? And I would say: "Of course he does. Remember he saves where he can."
We now have small buckets in each sink to save any water that might go down the drain. So you wash your hands and the runoff goes into the bucket. From there it goes into a five gallon pail into the washroom, where it get recycled to flush the toilet. The same happens to the wash water. Heinz drains all the wash water into 5 gallon pails and carries it carefully up the stairs to the main floor washroom so that it can be used to flush the toilet. Well, you dear reader might wonder at the madness, but to Heinz it makes perfect sense to go through all this trouble, since there is a water meter and he pays for water usage. The problem is that he doesn't understand that his water bill is not based on actual water usage but on person per household. I have tried to explain this to him, but still he insists on doing things his way. The water coming off the roof of his house will certainly also be recycled by next year. That much he has already promised himself and is on the agenda for next year. So for now, every time I wash my hands or brush my teeth and let water go down the drain, I feel somewhat guilty, like I'm not ecologically doing my part in saving water. And then I give my head a shake!

Halloween Pursuit

Ahh, how Gertrud loves Halloween! Kiddies, candies, cute outfits and lots of visits. What more could she ask for. Those are all the things she loves. I remember last year she didn't get a lot of trick or treaters at her door, so she took matters into her own hands and went around the neighborhood and knocked at the doors of neighbors who had children and brought the candy to them instead. I thought it was pretty wild that she was hunting down the children who had missed her house, but also pretty cute. Since she had only moved to her new home recently and doesn't understand the ways of attracting kids to your house with lighting and pumpkins and other halloween decorations, only a few children had appeared at her door. I don't know how things went this year yet, but she is pretty ill and I don't think she'll be going around the neighborhood herself this year. I think this year, she may have to just sacrifice herself and Heinz and eat all the candy bars themselves. Not that she or Heinz will complain about that, since they are very sugar addicted. I suppose Heinz will start scouring the grocery stores tomorrow for the reduced candies. It is his long standing tradition to buy up all the drastically reduced chocolate and other candies he likes right after any major holidays. One year he bought a whole shopping cart load right after Christmas and put it into the freezer to keep it fresh. Well, it sure didn't help his diabetes and he was hyper active with sugar highs for weeks to come. He would sit in the evenings writing his letters till the early morning hours sometimes. Gertrud would often find him slumped over his letters having fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion chocolate still by his side.

Pre Halloween Indulgence

Gertrud was surprised at my little unannounced visit today. I caught her sitting in her armchair with a cup of tea and and a small plate of Halloween chocolates. You know the kind.... Small sized candy bars of all varieties. She happily offered me some. I don't know why she doesn't remember that I won't eat sweets. She and Heinz have diabetes and there is more diabetes in my immediate family. So I have good reason not to eat sweets. Anyhow, I said to her: " Mama, thank you for asking, but do you know what I see, when I look at that plate? I see diabetes, cholesterol, high blood pressure as well as an array of other diseases. You can enjoy it if you like, but I can not eat that. It doesn't bother me not to see it either." Gerdtrud responded by laughing. " Well, I like my candy and I just eat a little at a time." I can't say that I like seeing her eating that junk, but I understand that it is one of her small pleasures, however, I hope to avert the diabetes, cholesterol, high blood pressure and stroke that she has endured, as well as the heart attack that Heinz has had. People think my diet is too rigid at times, but I don't feel deprived. I eat lots of healthy fresh veggies and fruit and have lots of variety. For desserts I make home made puddings, tapioca, banana breads and eat lots of fruit. But I substitute healthy oils for butter and avoid processed foods like the plague. I eat whole wheat everything and I love it and thrive perfectly fine. For Halloween I bought 100% fruit rollups for the kiddies that come to the door. I feel good about not contributing to the consumption and addiction of corn syrups, and sugars in the young and if some is left over, well then I can treat myself sometimes without feeling too guilty.

Wondersome Times

Had a great visit with Gertrud and Heinz. When I arrived, Heinz was on the road beside his house intently rolling up a fire hose. For just one moment I was panick stricken and then I realized that he would have a perfectly rational explanation. (At least from his view.) When I approached him he was surprised to see me and I gave him a hug asking what he was up to. He got into a big story about how he had picked up some wonderful black garden soil and backed his truck into the yard, but once the truck was empty he had no traction to get back off the lawn. So being resourceful as he is, he used the fire hose to get a quick pull out. The neighbor had seen what happened and offered a pull. The fire hose has been used many a time for this purpose before. I know, I know, you say," Who keeps a fire hose around, and where does one even aquire one!" Well, I don't know the answers to that, except that Heinz has the most unusual things in his tool kit. Things you wouldn't normally think of. Things you wouldn't know what to use for most often. He has buckets of nuts and bolts of every size. Five gallon buckets of all different kinds of nails, lubrication for any type of machinery, assortments of hand sawed boards and who knows what all else. I dare not look too closely.
After saying hello and chatting for a while, I went in the house to see Gertrud, whom for once never laid a single complaint about her health and never even mentioned her upcoming appointments. I swear she was tipped off that I needed more material for my blog, but that's o.k. since I have a lifetime of stories in my mind to share even if she never did another weird thing ever again.
It was an unusual and almost frightening visit since she was soo normal and easy going. Well, all I can do is wait her out. I know it can't last. Old habits are hard too break.
She did however mention to me that her clothes hanger had fallen twice and I certainly laughed at that, knowing it was because she had hoarded too many clothes again, for her hanger to take it.

Perfect Moms

Ahh, yes, we all want perfect moms. Moms which are without faults, have no problems of their own and are always there for you. Turns out that reality is not like that. Moms are humans like we all are. My mom let me down many times in my life and I know I've let down my own kids in many ways too. It's human not to be perfect and life doesn't come with a script. We have to accept the knocks that come our way and make the most of it. How do we get past the hurts? Well, for one, we grow up. We stop blaming others for our problems and become forgiving, loving adults. We stop wallowing in our sorrows and pick ourselved up when we get knocked down. Then we look at our own fault in what happened to us. Did we have it coming? Maybe not, and if not, then we need to forgive and get past it. Act responsibly and learn from our experience. One thing is for sure. I forgive my parents for their faults and know the way they behave is due to their own life experiences and lack of knowledge in certain areas. I also know that I am loved. Loved as much as is possible by either of my parents. Heinz and Gertrude can drive me up the wall, but they love me and I love them. I forgive their faults and they forgive me mine. Now isn't that what it all comes down to in life?? I hope my children will see life the same way one day if they don't already. After all, one day we simply die anyhow, so why hang on to bad feelings about the people we really love. Love them now and bring them flowers. Don't bring me flowers to my grave, its too late then.

Inducing Anxiety

Sometimes I wonder about the way things work with Gertrud. Yes, she is legitimately sick and has lots of appointments to go to. I got another call today, while I was unpacking groceries, cooking and trying to put new bags into the trash bins. I was really busy and Gertrude was telling me about a call that she got, which incidentally was about an appointment that had been on our calender for over a month already. I tried to explain this and she couldn't understand what I was saying at all. She was convinced that it was a new appointment. I started to wonder about dementia right abut then  and so I kept having to repeat myself in different ways until she finally got it, to which she wanted to know if I would go with her. I told her to wait 'till the time got nearer as the appointment was not until December, but explained  that there wasn't much I could help her with since it was only an x-ray and Heinz would be there to help her anyhow. She replied very indignantly that she knew by now that I didn't have any time for her. So of course I got into explaining how I had planned to visit today but got caught up in things, however I would try to come by tomorrow.
The guilt trip however sent blood curdling in my veins and I thought my head would pop right off. By then I was so frustrated from the virtual juggling act I was performing, that when I finally got off the phone I went into a full blown anxiety attack. So much so that I actually had to change out of my jeans and put on pyjamas. I was tearing my clothes off like a mad woman feeling like I was drowning because I couldn't breathe until I finally got on my pj's, eyes bulging, I'm sure, and telling myself that I needed to stop everything for a few minutes. So I turned off the pots on the stove and stood on the balcony breathing in some fresh air, wishing I could have a swig of something strong, all the whilst telling myself that my parents will be the death of me yet. The old buggers will outlive me for sure and dance on my grave if by chance they don't have an appointment that day.

When does it end?

The appointments just keep coming. It's like a job. I am realizing that old people have lots to do just getting through appointments. They have appointments, to get them prepared for appointments for heavens sake. Wow! I can't believe it. There are appointments for bloodtests, which they take a week prior to seeing the doctor, and then the nurse for diabetes. There are the CT scans, there are the Dr visits to check the bloodpressure and medications and the appointments to the eye doctors and then appointments to pick up the glasses and then more appointments for feet and heads and every body part you can only imagine. Inside and out there are appointments for it all. It gets totally haywire and overwhelming.
All I can say is stay healthy my friends, because if not, you will spend your entire retirement going to appointments. And that answers your questions about why old people are in a rush as much as you are when they get in line at the bank.

Hoarding

Hoarding is one of Gertrude and Heinz' downfalls. They keep everything and they truly think they will need it some day. Everything from knick knacks to food or money. The all time favorite its clothing on Gertrude's part. She loves to shop. Her best shopping is done at the second hand stores. She buys clothes without trying them on which kills me because a third of the things she buys don't end up fitting her. Most of them are generally too small and she thinks she can alter them somehow. Then they hang in her closet waiting to be altered or taken back to the store, which will never happen as everyone knows that a hoarder can't do that. She buys more stuff whenever she goes out. One little item after the other gathers and before you know it there is no room left on any shelf or inside any closet. Her sofa is covered in dolls. All of them have names and homemade knitted sweaters and pants. She talks to them every day and makes sure they are sitting comfortably. She also gets very upset if you move them without special care as though they were real infants. So she will scold you. It is a real illness and causes distress for Gertrude when she needs to part with anything. When she is forced to move and part with any article, it causes her major grief. It took her months to get over cups and other little things which needed to be left behind. Now however she has found new places to buy things and she is happy whenever she makes a find. I humour these finds as I know they bring her little pleasures and she doesn't have much left to find pleasure in. The occasional meeting at the coffee shop or visit or small purchase she makes. Other than that life is hard on Gertrude. Her health is poor and seems to be getting worse and now the winter will keep her indoors for most of the time unless she gets better and the winter is mild so that the sidewalks are kept clean for her to walk on. Let's hope for Gertrude's sake that she will be better so that she can have her little outings which give her some reprieve from the dullness of her four walls at home.

Doing Things My Way

I had to see the doctor today. On my way home Heinz rode right past me on his bike, backpack on his back and baseball hat on his head. Looked like he was thoroughly enjoying coming down the hill on a beautiful fall day. He didn't see me as he was involved in changing lanes to head to the post office. I was surprised at his sense of adventure and how comfortable he looked on his bike. I felt happy for him as he looked like a young man enjoying his bike ride out. It gave me the idea of perhaps getting him a helmet for christmas or his birthday. His birthday is in May. That would set him up for next year's bike riding.
Heinz is now in charge of the daily mail check as Gertrude still is not feeling well. Next week she gets results for her tests back. I hope to feel well enough to go with her for the results so that nothing gets lost in the translation between doctor and patient.
She has had some invasive tests and then a fall which still have lasting repurcussions for her and so Heinz has more burdens. I feel bad as I would have visited them again by now, but I am not feeling well myself. So until then phone calls will have to do.
So Heinz went to do the gutters today. He used the plastic gutter liners which I bought in the gutters at the front of the house but at the back, he decided to insert chicken wire and have an experiment to see which ones would work best. Well, we will have to see. Twenty feet of the plastic stuff costs less than five dollars and two of them covered the front of the house and he needed another two for the rear of the house, which he already has, since I bought them. So I'm not sure what the need was for the experiment, but who am I to judge?

The Meaning of Life

Called to check on Heinz and Gertrud this morning. Things are going as well as expected. If they have the strength to squabble they must be fine. Gertrude was happy that my eldest sister had called and updated her about my recently married niece. She also told me that she misses her daily walks to the post office. The weather was so nice, I understood where she was coming from. I hate to see her so housebound. I wish they would go out to buy an electric buggy for her. they have the money to do so, but Heinz is too cheap to let her have it since it would cost electricity to keep it charged. And Gertrude doesn't wish to argue with him. She knows it would be a constant battle. I have already tried to fight that fight for her, but have now found more wisdom in letting her fight her own battles. I am too tired for that. I have my own battles in life.
I have been pondering the meaning of life lately and not to be too much of a downer, but I understand that we were only born to die. That is the truth, since it applies to all of humanity. Some of us die sooner than later, but that is the only difference. So that leaves us with the choice of what do we decide to do with the days between birth and death. Every day we are here, it is a new choice for us. Our only responsibility is that we make the most of every day as much as we can. That is my conclusion.

Health

Gertrude is in trouble. Her health seems to be getting worse. She has been undergoing all kinds of testing. We are hoping it is nothing serious. However in the meantime, she is getting lots of mileage out of the testing. Every blood test is a serious thing. Every appointment with dieticians or giving a urine sample is a big thing. As a matter of fact there is this matter of giving a urine sample that she can't do it in the office. She has to take the container home and then fill it to the rim and bring it back the next day. It's almost comical, if it weren't so darned inconvenient.  The flu shot is another ordeal for her. Well, she outright refuses to get it using the excuse that her arm stays sore for a full year after getting the flu shot and that there must be something wrong with her arm. Like perhaps an allergy or something. Either way she won't get the shot, even though her doctor really wants her to have it since she has had pneumonia in the past few years which even put her into the hospital on one occasion. But small as she is, she is also as stubborn as they come, but I still love her and worry myself silly over her well being.

Saving Electricity

I came to my parents home today to find Heinz sitting on the phone on hold with his local electric company. He was trying to buy the hot water heater which he was renting from the local company. He wanted to save the thirteen dollars a month rental fee and buy the tank outright. Figuring the tank was about 5 years old he expected to pay about two hundred dollars for it and thereby own the tank. The agent was trying to explain to him that the rental fees covered him in case something went wrong with the tank and that they would even cover any servicing the tank might need or replace it in the event it gave out completely. Heinz however wanted to buy the tank despite all this and was getting more and more frustrated with the agent, whose job it was to convince my father to keep renting the tank. Since he didn't seem to be getting anywhere with the agent I asked if he wanted me to speak to the agent to which Heinz happily relented.
Once again I explained the situation to the agent, who told finally told me the tank was only one year old and would cost over one thousand dollars to buy which would include the installation fee. At this point I became irritated myself. Knowing the house quite well and knowing the heater hadn't been installed within the last twelve months, I told the agent that it was an outrageous price and that the heater was at least five years old. One could tell just by looking at it. I asked Heinz to check for a date on the heater and he came back with a serial number. However, the agent insisted that the heater was only one year old and stayed with his price. I explained this to Heinz while I asked the agent to wait. Heinz got very upset, he was raising his voice at this point threatening to hire a lawyer to solve the issue. I told him not to be upset that he could buy his own heater at the local hardware store, install it himself and let the electric company come by and get their own back if he didn't agree to the agent's terms.
The agent, listening to my suggestion and my father agreeing, then decided he could check his files on the heater again. After a couple of minutes I got an apology from the agent saying he had made a mistake and the heater was already 6 years old and if Heinz wanted to purchase it outright it would cost 500 Dollars taxes included. Still outraged and feeling he was paying way too much for the heater Heinz reluctantly agreed to the price since he would save himself the aggravation and work of installing another heater. Now I figure that at paying 13 dollars and change a month rental fees, he will have the heater paid for itself in about 38 months. So in the long run I suppose he will save some money. I am glad I came to house just in time to intervene, before Heinz would have been even more upset and possibly have hired a lawyer  unnecessarily. It also made me feel good thinking I was able to save him possibly five hundred dollars, despite the fact that I also feel that even this was too much money to pay for a used hot water tank.

Auto Mechanic?

Heinz has a unique relationship with vehicles. Diesels are his favorite. They have to be standard transmission of course. ( I'm not sure why.) Right at this moment he is the only driver at home and has two very old VW's in his yard. Only one is running. The other is a truck. It's humungous and I personally hate it. Well, I hate all his cars. They all have idiosyncosies which make me crazy. His red diesel has over 400,000 kms on it and just passed another inspection.

What makes me crazy is that he spends more time working on his cars than he does driving them. He is super proud that they still run with that many km's on them, but fails to see the folly of spending all the money on parts. I swear he could have bought a new car by now with just the money he spent on parts. Never mind counting all the hours spent under the hood. Just recently he thought his grandson was whacky for wanting to let go of his car, which also has over 400,000 kms on it. He feels that as long as he is doing the repairs himself and keeps the car running he is saving money. So there is no talking sense to him on this issue.

 If you've ever been in any of his vehicles, you will undoubtably notice the strong smell of gas or diesel and if you go for a ride with him you will undoubtably suffer car sickness as a result. You see he keeps rags under the seat which he uses when he checks the oil dip stick or spills a bit of gas when he overfills the tank. One day I reached under the back seat of one of his vehicles to hand him a rag which he asked for and was confronted with one of my discarded panties. I had moved and left a bag of old clothes behind which were to go into the garbage. He had gone through the stuff to pick out "good rags". Needless to say I was incensed. I couldn't believe that I would find one of my panties under his seat to be used in public to wipe his hands on or the oil dip stick. I immediately disposed of it in the nearest garbage bin. I think I was disgusted for the rest of the day and told him I had better not find any more of my clothes used for rags.

He also has a penchant for driving on long hauls until he almost falls asleep. Then when he gasses up, he generally puts gas into the diesel car/truck or vice-versa. Driving from British Columbia to Ontario this usually happens to him somewhere along the trip and he then needs a tow and siphons off the gas or diesel which he then puts into gas cans, which he will buy, so as not to waste the fuel. This fuel is generally used for the lawn mower which now coughs regularly whilst he wonders why.

Slip Sliding Away

Mom was complaining to me that she was having a hard time getting out of the bathtub every day. So we decided to come up with solutions. We also brought in the occupational therapist to make good suggestions. First we found out that Mom couldn't get out of the tub because her knees are too weak and she was afraid of falling. Solutions seemed rather simple. A bathtub chair, anti-slip grip tape in the tub and a properly installed grip on the wall as well as a grip on the bathtub and a hand held shower head would solve the issue. All was done and things were going well.
Then Heinz came back from his last trip from his move to their new home. After a couple of weeks the grip on the tub was gone. Today the chair legs were only half as tall as before. Obviously Heinz has cut them off. His purpose is not known to me, but I know it will only make things harder for Gertrud to get out of the tub again. I feel angry, confused and frustrated. I also don't want to get into any issues. I feel too weak emotionally, so I just let it go. I don't know if I did right or wrong. Sometimes maybe it's just their affair, for better or worse.......

Dreaded Leaves

I found these wonderful plastic things at the hardware store which I thought Heinz could use. I am speaking of screens that you simply place into the gutter and it keeps the leaves from collecting in your gutters and going down the downspout getting things all clogged up. Since Heinz although being amazingly spry for his age, has been climbing up the ladder and cleaning the spouts twice already this year, I find it completely outrageous and not just a little life threatening. Oh, yeah and he would never consent to hiring someone for such a job, by the way. So I decided to try and find a solution. I bought these plastic screens on hopes that he would agree that they might be a great idea. I kept the receipt just in case he thought they were useless and I would have to return them. Lo and behold when I showed it to him and explained the simple instructions he loved them. They are a six inch plastic screen which simply bends and fits into the gutter. With several huge maples surrounding his home, he was at wits end on how to keep the gutters clean and cursed the maples, wishing he could cut them down. Being a little obsessive about these type of things he would likely clean them several more times before all the leaves were fallen and the snow came. The maples are however on the neighbors line and there is no chance of them being cut down since they provide much needed shade in the summer months. Now if he just doesn't break his neck installing them, I can rest assured that he won't climb up the ladder too often anymore, especially on windy days. I feel worried whenever I think of Heinz because he is always attempting the impossible and has had some near death situations because of it. It doesn't however slow him down at all. He keeps going strong. His motto being that if he slows down he will die. One more problem solved, more to come tomorrow, I am sure.

Days of Hiding Out

Well, I haven't felt my best. That's why I didn't write yesterday. I've had some horrible news and feel very sad these days. I've been avoiding my parents. I figure they can manage without me until I can get myself back together again. I am not sleeping well, even with aid of medication. When I do finally sleep, I get nightmares. I feel physically and mentally empty. I can't find energy to move. I am not motivated to do much. The last conversation I had with Heinz was to tell him that I was feeling horrible because he didn't call me after my mother had taken a fall and that he was negligent in not taking her to a doctor. I was very mad and told him that they were both reckless and irresponsible. I haven't heard from either of them since. The weather has been bad. Fall has come with a vengence. Lots of rain and wind. Enough to knock the power out for about an hour. Of course I tried to check on my parents during the outage, but couldn't because they have this digital device attached to their phone lines because Heinz feels that it is imperative for him to have a fax machine. Due to that, whenver the power is out, I can't even call them. Another crazy fact. Makes absolutely no sense for seniors, but I've tried to talk to them about it to no avail. Another day in lala land.

Not All Days are About Them

Today was a me day. Yes, caregivers need time off. I spent mine visiting a sick friend and then entertaining myself at the casino. I took twenty dollars and had some fun. It was o.k. Not that I want to gamble all the time, but this was one of those days that it really helped to be in a very highly charged atmosphere, where you don't have time to think. It was great. It was about one hour of complete down time and it felt great. No thoughts of anything or anyone going through my mind. It sure was worth twenty dollars. The only job I had today was to call my parents and inform them of a cancellation for Gertrud's cat scan and set up a new appointment. Totally easy today!

Another Crazy Day

Today is coffee and cake day. I meet Gertrude to make up for not being able to go for her dietician appointment. I had a bad night's sleep and I am tired. I put off calling her till almost 11 am. Finally after my first fake coffee (chickory) I am awake enough and brave enough to call. I brace myself and dial.
Mama answers with a weak voice. I ask her how she is feeling and immediatly regret it. I know that this question always leads to a lame discussion about the regular aches and pains of getting old. Today is special though. She gets quite excited as she tells me she has had a very bad incident. "Oh,oh!" this can't be good I think. She proceeds to tell me about her trip to the mail yesterday. Apparantly she couldn't push her walker and hold an umbrella at the same time, so she chose to take her umbrella to go up town. She forgot to use her cane though too. She made it o.k. to town and to the mail. On the way home however she ran into trouble. Just as she was three quarters up the hill, she got very dizzy. On her right was a concrete fence about three feet tall. Her dizzy spell got bad enough that she lost her balance and landed on the concrete. She now has a very big bruise on her knee and elbow. As soon as I heard I got dressed and headed over to her house to check on her. She was still wobbly on her feet, but refused to go to the doctor. She said nothing was broken and all she needed was some rest. I was upset that Heinz hadn't called me the day it happened and that he didn't take her to the doctor right away. Apparantly he only gave her hell for heading up town for the mail in bad weather especially without her walker. So I blew a gasket and told them that between them they didn't have an ounce of good sense. Then I left and felt bad for the rest of the day, wondering what on god's green earth I was going to do to keep them out of trouble. I realized once again that I am helpless.

Going Postal

One of Gertrud's most obsessive habit is to check the mail. She is more reliable than the post man himself. It drives everyone around her nothing short of crazy. Today was a rainy day and Heinz drove her to her appointments in the morning after which they checked the mail and did some shopping before heading home. I had other errands to run, which I looked after and also needed to get an immunization and bloodwork done after which I went to the mall for a while and had a coffee at my favorite coffee shop. While sipping my coffee I decided to check on my mother and give her a call. Heinz answered the call and was quite worried and upset. He told me that "Mama" as he calls Gertrude, had gone out again.
"She simply put on her blue running shoes and coat and headed up town to check the mail, even though it's pouring rain out. I tried to dissuade her," he complained, "but she just wouldn't listen. She insists that she needs to check the mail in the afternoon since it isn't all sorted until at least 2 pm." He sounded beaten. " I don't know what to do about her. I can't stop her," he said. I told him not to worry, that she probably just likes getting out for the fresh air, which seemed to soothe him a bit, though we both know that she is "postal" as we like to think of her obsessive compulsiveness regarding the mail.
In my own mind though, I think she might have been trying to catch me having coffee when I was supposed to be at her appointment with her. Yes, she needs to check her mail, daily and of course late in the afternoon, but at the same time she likes to keep close track of my comings and goings which sort of makes me feel paranoid. 
Then again; just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean that nobody is following me.

Telephone Plagues

The phone rings. Ahh, how I dread to answer it these days. Once again the sweet voice of Gertrud assaults all my senses. She has a certain voice that she uses when she knows she is going to tread thin ice with me and it's this voice she is using now. So right away my defences are on total alert, but I tell myself to be patient and not to jump to conclusions as to the nature of the call. So as I listen, she explains that she just woke up from a nice, little nap and was thinking about tomorrow. Once again I knowingly take her bait and ask what exactly she needs to talk about and she says,"Well, I wanted to know if you were coming with me to my dietician appointment." I answer by reminding her that we have already discussed this earlier in the day and that I can't make it. So the sweet voice says: " Well, something might have changed." I tell her with ever more patience that if something had changed, I would have called and let her know. Now this answer totally displeases her and her tone now changes from sweet to completely annoyed. She replies: " Well, I wasn't in the house all day you know! I could have missed the call." The last thing I hear is the familiar click of the telephone being hung up on me. Hmm.

Overcoming Language Barriers

Gertude went to the bank alone today. As she often does, she starts talking to herself without really being aware of it. She needed to stand in line for a while, shoving her walker and digging into her purse for her wallet. This is in itself a feat, since her purse is filled with several wallets, each for different purposes. One for grocery money, one for paying bills, one for saving for small items such as a new purse or shoes etc. and one for coins. Then she carries just about all her vital documents. Everything from her expired passport to expired driver's licence and some actually valid documents like her health card and so on. Her purse therefore weighs a ton. So as she was digging through her purse, vis a vis filing cabinet, she noticed a young woman in her early twenties also waiting in line wearing high boots with her skirt. Gertud thinking this was outrageous since the weather was beautiful and about twenty-two degrees Celsius started mumbling to herself in German: " I think she might have a screw loose," upon which the girl turned around, looked Gertrude up and down and said: " No, I don't have a screw loose and I can even understand German since my parents are both German." The girl laughed it off, I suppose since Gertrud's dwarf sized old body pushing a walker makes such a fragile impression. Gertrude must have seemed simply comical to her, for which I am grateful, since many a person would have been insulted, and rightfully so I might add.
I explained to Gertrude, that many young women wear boots amost all year round these days as part of fashion and not trying to keep warm. It was simply astonishing to her that this should be the case and she simply frowned about this new practice of wearing boots in warm weather remaining convinced that it was a crazy practice.
I also tried to impress upon her not to be speaking to herself in public like that any more because she could get into lots of trouble should she insult the wrong person. Once again she thought I was simply over sensitive and waved me off.
So much for trying to teach an old dog new tricks.

A Day of Rest

Today was seemingly unremarkable. As far as Heinz and Gertrud are concerned, their immediate food issues are solved as I left them with enough left overs for a couple of days including that lovely pumpkin pie, which I sort of wished I had taken home as I am craving it myself now. At home I cooked a ten pound turkey today and have enough left overs for at least 7 more meals. I went easy on myself and forgot about the cranberries and stuffing but went big on the veggies. Asparagus and butternut squash. No dessert though. Now I am beat. That was way too much cooking and activity for me. My body doesn't want to co-operate for all that cooking anymore. Well, Gertrud called today to prepare me for her upcoming diabetic nutritionist appointment. Turns out I have an appointment of my own that day, so I cancelled out with the promise of meeting her for coffee and maybe a piece of cake the following day. I knew I would have to make it up to her somehow, since I already let her go to an appointment two weeks prior.
She was pretty disappointed that I couldn't take her to the dietician, but I know she will be fine. She is tougher than she lets on mostly. Last time we were at the dietician's office Ellen the dietician asked for her height and weight, which Gertrud didn't know, but I helped as was my duty, by telling her that my mother was approximately two inches taller than a garden gnome and about one hundred and ten pounds including the rocks in her pocket. The dietician laughed, and so did my mother. It's how I always lovingly describe her because she is barely five feet tall and had been weighed at the doctor's office just a few days prior. I will go with her again next time, just to make sure things are on track with the dietician. Communication problems could always arise after all, and this is Gertrude's major problem when going to appointments, aside from her not understanding directions too well. I am reassured however knowing that if anything is amiss, I know I will get a call from either party or both.
That is simply what happens as your parents get older. You gradually get to go to most of their appointments and take care of most of their correspondence. Another thing to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. :)

Two Beers and Turkey Goulash

Once again the phone rings at noon. It's Gertrude. In as sweet a voice as I know she can muster, she asks if everything is alright with me. I decide to go for the bait and ask her why she would ask. She replies sweetly that,"Well, I thought you had fallen ill, since you aren't here yet." Taking a deep breath and counting to ten, I say," No Mama, I am feeling just fine and it's only noon. I thought about coming around three o'clock and that would be early enough to cook supper. So of course sounding terribly disappointed, and confused she says," Well, don't most people eat at lunch time?" I answer with as much patience as I can muster that yes, most people eat lunch, but also supper and that I was coming to cook supper and so she can expect to see me about three o'clock.
Feeling guilty, I end my coffee with a friend at the coffee shop early and go home to pack and head into the dreaded dragon's den. I prepared by bringing my favorite pot, knives, stir and ingredients for turkey goulash plus the much needed pumpkin pie and two bottles of beer which were designed with secret intent. Heavily laden I arrived at my parents house with intrepidation. How would things go? Could I get through cooking the meal before major arguments erupted between Heinz and Gertrud and would I be able to hold my temper if things should go awry? Major concerns and hesitations haunted me on the trip over. But, I had my secret weapon with me....
I managed to get over there early at about one thirty and was greeted happily. No thick air upon arrival. "Great!" I think, good start to the visit. Putting down my pack and bag of groceries I look at Heinz and wonder at his new shorts. ( The man has never worn shorts until he moved to southwestern Ontario last fall. Even in Australia he never wore shorts.) As I check out his shorts, I notice that they are old green workpants cut off sort of crooked at the knee, no hem in sight. Of course, Gertrude makes her usual sarcastic remark. " Like your father's new pants? And look at his knees!" Giving her a look of death, letting her know not to start something, I turn to Heinz and remark that it's a great idea to stay comfortable in the hot weather upon which he claims that he is simply recycling since the knees were worn out in that particular pair of pants. He was busy making a big stack of whole wheat belgian waffles.  (A recipe I had given him on a previous occasion.)There must have been at least fifteen or more waffles on the plate.  Heinz does everything in bulk. It's his way of saving time and money. He buys fifty pound bags of wheat flour, and bulk of everything in the household.
First I examined the meat. I was surprised at the general look of it. One piece was a turkey breast while the other piece was upon closer examination the turkey back. I tried to put out of my mind how the turkey had become so disfigured and deboned the turkey breast, without a hitch and told papa I couldn't use the other piece. There were lots of pointy bones sticking out and not much meat. He decided that anything I couldn't use would be put aside for soup. The solution was pleasing to both of us. I carefully washed the turkey meat I was going to use for supper and then proceeded to wash and cut up the veggies at the table. My mother sat opposite of myself. She suddenly looked me in the eye and said, "Sabine, I have to ask you a serious question." My mind starts racing. I know this could spell trouble on just about any front. One can never even begin to guess where this might lead. So as cool as a cucumber I tell her to go ahead, feeling inside that I had just opened up a landmine. So Gertrude goes:" Well, I was in a deep sleep last night, and suddenly I felt a hard pain in my back and when I opened my eyes, I see your father rushing from the room. I think he gave me a hard kick in the back and then ran away. I can still feel the pain you know. But your father insists that I must have been dreaming and that he was asleep in his own room. What do you think? Do you think it could have been a dream on my part?"
Well, so I burst out laughing and have to stop chopping for fear I might chop my fingers off. I take a look at my father, who is grinning and shaking his head as he is packing away his waffles. I try to assure her that it really sounds like a dream to me, but add jokingly that the way they always squabble, perhaps Heinz was angry at her in his sleep and came to her room sleepwalking to give her a kick. I can't help but laugh at the suggestion and see that she is not entirely convinced that it was a dream. Then I quickly switch the topic before it actually leads to serious accusations. I have put the beer in the fridge and am quickly preparing supper. Heinz whirls around me steadily doing one thing or another. Finding covers for pots and watching intently what I am doing. I explain the vegetable I have brought for supper. Boc choy. I decided to let them try something new. I show him how to steam it and add the spices for taste. I cook the broad egg noodles and finish the meat. Heinz decides that the water from the noodles and bok choy should be saved and used in the upcoming turkey soup. I decide I now have one more thing to be thankful for on Thanksgiving, being that I don't need to be around to eat his soup. Seeing that Gertrud isn't participating I suggest that she help set the table. She doesn't look thrilled with the idea, but submits to the pressure knowing there is a good dinner in the works for her. Finally supper is done. All without the expected major hitches and I serve it up. This is where the beer comes in. The timing is everything here. I serve up the turkey and give him the beer with supper.
We enjoy our dinner and Heinz even serves himself to a second helping. He loves the dark beer and it's starting to work its charm. Heinz groans how full he is getting and he is starting to look a bit sleepy. I tell him the recipe for the goulash is on the noodle package which he promptly decides to cut out and tape to a piece of paper telling me that he doesn't have a cook book and this would make a great start.
I quickly clean the dishes and put them away then sit down to show him the pictures of my trip to Quebec. After about fifteen pictures he is quickly fading. Slumping onto the kitchen table he is out like a light. My plan has worked perfectly. Between the turkey and the beer he never stood a chance to start in on politics, old stories or arguments with Gertrud. However Gertrud gets angry and tells him to mind his manners and go lie down on the sofa, but its too late. Heinz sleepily tells her he only needs a minute's rest and puts his head back on the table. I then give Gertrud her turn at looking at the pictures. I show her a picture or two of the old houses and boulevards and she says to me: "Where are the pictures of you and your friend? That's what I want to see." I explain that there aren't any and Gertrud flies into a fit. " Well, I don't want to see pictures of houses and streets she says. I'm not interested in that. I want to see pictures of you and your friend. If I can't see that, then I don't want to see any at all." Astonished at her outburst I decide to call her bluff and close up the camera. Then I slowly pack up my backpack with my pot, utensils and camera and bid them both a farewell telling them I will see them soon. Ugh.