Mattress Mysteries

Upon deciding to move back to Ontario, Heinz threw out his old mattress to make room on the moving truck. The trouble with that was only that he had put it into his head that he didn't need another mattress. I tried to convince him to get a new one right after he arrived, but I got all the usual excuses and also some more of the unusual ones. At first he started with," I'm fine, I got some blankets under me on the bedroom floor. When we were children all we had were straw mats." Then it went," I found some old sofa cushions and put them on the floor and they are much softer. I don't need a mattress. This is quite comfortable." The cushions however kept slipping apart and were quite narrow, so he either fell off or they would slip apart and he would end up on the floor anyhow. After that he finally erected the antique bed my sister had given him a long time ago. Instead of using a boxspring and mattress in it he cut some of his home made boards to size and thereby made his base on the bed. Then he proceeded to make a makeshift mattress. It consisted of many layers. First a layer of cardboard on top of the boards, then a 4 inch sponge, then many layers of comforters, one moving blanket and last but certainly not least  a down duvet. All together it was about 10 layers which amounted to a big hole in the middle of the bed and the rest of the blankets sort of bunched up around the edges.
Well, like I said, I had tried to no avail many times before to convince him to buy a mattress. The only thing he was at one point willing to do though was to try and find a used mattress. This I was not willing to help him find though, since I was thoroughly disgusted by even the thought of a used mattress. Especially with the scare of bedbugs in many towns and hotels thoughout the country.
So when I saw his bed a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I could look for a mattress sale if he wanted me to. By now he had crept into Gertrud's bed in the mornings for his regular talk routine. In the mornings when he wakes up, he visits Gertrud in her room and lays down beside her and tells her what is on his mind at the time. She by the way, always complains about him waking her up like this, although it is part of their regular routine for about the past 10 years or more. So by creeping in with her in the mornings, he surely noticed the comfort of her mattress over time. So after sleeping terribly for almost a year and me asking him one more time if he was ready to buy a mattress soon, Heinz finally agreed to a new mattress and asked me to keep an eye out for a suitable one.
Today was his lucky day. They had a great sale on memory foam mattresses at one of the big box stores I like to frequent and I grabbed one immediately. They only had one more twin size in stock and I wasn't about to let the opportunity pass. So this mattress comes packed in a big box with wheels on the bottom and a handle on top so you can just pull it behind you.
When I arrived, Heinz was confused. He had never seen a mattress packaged this way and was intrigued by the packaging, which I had to explain as soon as I entered the door. It took him a few tries. He was convinced that the box must be on a dolly as he had seen me push it down his front stairs. After explaining the packaging, he was confused as to how a mattress could fit into such a box. I tried to explain the process of vacuum packaging for mattresses, but he looked quite unconvinced until we had totally taken it out of the box. I told him we would need a pair of scissors and a knife to unwrap it and he brought a very big butcher knife and scissors for the job. I got nervous upon seeing the butcher knife as I thought he might get excited and accidentally cut into the mattress or its cover. His knife wielding is something to behold I might add. First he adjusted the cardboard in the bottom of the bed. He cut it more to measure which was fine, and then he started going for the plastic, upon which I had to hold him back several times, since the mattress needed to sit in place properly before you cut away the plastic, because as soon as you puncture it the mattress will inflate to its proper 8 inch thickness. At first we had it upside down in the bed, but it was luckily not inflated yet and was only about an inch and a half thick and rather easily moved. Once in place, I told the butcher knife wielding Heinz to go ahead and cut the plastic off the mattress. He was quite excited and almost cut into the mattress cover at one point, but then slowed down when I explained my fear of cutting the mattress. Within minutes the mattress had almost reached 8 inches and looked nice on his bed. Heinz was very impressed with the whole process and liked the washable, zippered cover the mattress comes with. I helped him to put a mattress cover and sheets on and I saw a happy man. He was laughing and making jokes about the box and telling me he might even find a use for the great plastic which came off the mattress. We went downstairs and he paid me for the mattress and thanked me for my help. I told him I was only too happy to help him and hoped he would finally get some decent sleep. Heinz has terrible sleep issues and his bed must not have helped in resolving this problem for him. So all I can think about tonight is that one old man now has a decent bed and hopefully gets a good night's sleep for a change. Good night Heinz and have sweet dreams for a change.